soo im kinda new to all this journaling stuff. i hope this helps me some. anyways, today i feel really alone in all this stuff. i work at one of the only places open on christmas day, and somehow a good guy friend of mine got my secret out of me. that being that for the past 5 yrs (since grade 8) i've been battling with an eating disorder. im not sure which one. i used to go days without eating, or just eating an orange or so throughout the day...but now i just go to the bathroom after every meal and purge it out. i must admit, its very addicting. and so is the working out. im so ashamed at myself and feel like im going to be judged or seen differently if i tell people. even though this particular guy says he doesn't see me any differently, i notice that he looks at me differently. i guess its the self conscious part of me but now every time he sees me coming out of the bathroom, i wonder if he thinks "oh, she just got done puking her guts out." i dont know. i guess i decided to do this whole journal thing in order to find unknown people who can actually relate to me, someone i can be myself with, someone who i can encourage, and hope to be encouraged back.

does anyone else ever feel this alone??
like, no matter what people say, you know they NEVER will TRULY understand you???